“You are the only you God made… God made you and broke the mold.”
― Max Lucado
Honestly, how many times have you looked in the mirror and focused on your flaws? Round nose, small eyes, too fat, too thin, too short? In a survey conducted, 91% of the people confessed to perceiving themselves as ugly.
In fact, there is a video where an artist creates two sketches of the same woman- one based on she described herself and the second on how the other person described her features. Here is the link if you’re interested. The result was that the second sketch was far more accurate, far better than the first one. Why was that? Because the other person did not exaggerate her flaws, like we all tend to do with ourselves.
Why you must not focus on your flaws?
Even before answering that, how can you say what your flaw is? How can you say that a round nose is not beautiful or just because someone is a little overweight, they are not pretty? Focusing on these so called flaws changes the entire self-perception, which leads to a staggering decrease in self-confidence.
The problem is that since society is so fixated on their idea of beauty- flawless skin, smaller waist, long neck- that often we also start believing in these false perceptions. If you keep focusing on what is wrong with you, despite the fact that there is nothing wrong with you, you will only end up hurting yourself.
If you want to live your life to the fullest, if you want to be the most beautiful version of you, and the most confident version of you, the first thing you need to stop doing is classifying each of your body parts into ‘okay’ and ‘ugly’. Your life does not depend on the length of your neck or the girth of your waist. Your life depends on how confident you are in your skin. And a little secret, most people are attracted to people who are confident in their skin rather than those with a smaller waist and long neck.
How can you start loving yourself NOW?
Start with accepting yourself the way you are.
You are this person and you are going to remain this person for all your life. Of course there will be physical changes in your body but even then you will be as beautiful as you are today, if not more. Once you accept who you are and love yourself for being the person you are, you are automatically thousand times more beautiful than you ever thought you could be.
Challenge the societal perception of beauty. If a thin nose is pretty, there are tons of gorgeous women with not so thin noses, but they are all pretty and society calls them pretty. So should you follow the perceptions of such a fickle minded society?
Empower other people to come to terms with who they are. Like you, there are so many other people suffering from the same notion of whether or not they are pretty. If you can make a difference in the life of even one such person, you will understand the joy it brings.
Think positive thoughts at all times. The thing with the negative thoughts is that it only brings more negative thoughts. Once you start thinking about how you have gained two pounds, you will eventually start thinking about why your first grade crush never called you back! Seriously! Negativity does more harm than anything else, you need to cultivate a positive mindset and reflect your self-perceiving thoughts in a positive light.
Stop comparing yourself with others. This is absolutely the worst pain you can inflict upon yourself. Almost each one of us compares ourselves with others; whether it is in terms of physical appearance or success. You need to understand that you are a different individual and you have your own goals, aspirations, and purpose in life. You cannot compare yourself with someone who is on a different journey than you are. Two words- stop comparing! Very powerful, very profound.
Strive to improve if there is room for improvement. A lot of people are on their weight loss journeys, and yes it is an improvement in their physical, mental, and emotional health. Losing weight will also work wonders for your skin, hair, and bring out your features the way God intended them to be. Wherever there is room for improvement, you should definitely try to improve but you should also accept yourself in the current position. The idea is to connect with yourself on an internal level and be your own best friend no matter your size or skin color.
Be surrounded by positive people. Negative people will only bring you down, they suck the happiness out of you. It is not their fault actually, they are fighting their own battles. If you feel this is affecting on your level of happiness, you should try to cut yourself away from them and try to find support and companionship in loving people who appreciate and value each other.