Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before.
– Elizabeth Edwards
There are times when Life knocks us down, and it knocks us down pretty bad. Some people choose to resign to Fate and crib about the downfall for all of their lives, while some get back up and go on to create history.
The one trait that every successful person has in common is Resilience. No matter how many times they are rejected, ridiculed, thrown down, they bounce back and keep on bouncing back till they succeed. If you want to be that person who ends up winning over your problems, this is a million dollar advice- be resilient.
Honestly all these positive self-help talk is great, but is it really possible to keep on trying after lapsing back time and again? Do you mean possible or do you mean convenient, because it is possible but not convenient. To cite failure as reason to never try again- that is convenient and which is why most people don’t even try getting back up.
If you have had enough of the regret of not trying one last time, here are some easy ways to condition your mind to be resilient till you succeed:
Absorb and accept- Don’t deny what went wrong. Just let it sink in, and accept that maybe this try too did not work out. Let go off the resentment, just accept what has happened and then plan on the next step.
Reasons not emotions- Okay so the editor rejected your article, you gained back the 100 pound you lost, you had an anxiety attack. It’s okay, just relax, and think why did this happen? Does your article need a rewrite or maybe you did not proofread well, did you gain the weight back because you quit working out or you ate the wrong stuff, did you have an anxiety attack because you over-thought a situation? Whatever be the case there is always a reason, who cares if it’s stupid it is a reason nonetheless, and this is what you need to concentrate on.
Do not criticize yourself, and never ever call yourself a failure. You have to have your own back and be your own best friend. Believe in yourself and your abilities and that’s half the battle won.
It doesn’t matter what others say- People will talk whether you succeed or fail, especially when you fail. Get this, most people are unhappy with their lives and they want to bring others down. Don’t fall prey to this. Whenever someone says something discouraging smile and brush it off. Don’t focus on it, not even fleetingly. And try not to take things personally if someone is criticizing, in fact they may actually end up offering reasons as why to why you didn’t succeed the last time- use this to your advantage.
Cultivate a Positive Mindset-Ever noticed how a negative person will find something wrong in even the best of situations? It is the same with a negative mindset, it worsens a bad situation and before you know it your pessimism has convinced you that it is not worth trying again because of hundreds of reasons (read excuses). Conversely, a positive mindset will look for that silver lining, you will find reasons to try again and these reasons fuel your motivation.
Also, a good way to condition your mind to always zero in on the positive is by being surrounded by optimists. The type of people who are focused towards finding solutions and not those who are hell bent on finding excuses.
Set smaller goals- If it will take you a while to achieve your dream goal, break it up. A small example is when you want to lose 100+ pounds, it is better to keep smaller goals of 5 pounds and then when you achieve these write them down and reward yourself. This way you already have a sense of accomplishment and you can tap into this ‘feeling’ of success when you are second-guessing your abilities, which by the way happens to the best of us.
Eat clean and exercise– How we feel on a mental level is indeed influenced by what we eat over a period of time, like you feel charged up after having caffeine or you feel lethargic after a heavy meal. This is because a lot is going inside our body and each organ is connected with each other and primarily with the brain. Also when you body gets replenished with the required nutrients, you feel all the more energetic.
You have probably heard this before but yes working out releases endorphins and serotonin, which are the feel-good hormones. For every psychological issues exercise is often strongly recommended, so you can imagine what amazing benefits this has. Overall it tends to improve the health of your brain. And coupled with clean eating you are a bundle of energy, which is important if you have to take on the test with a renewed mental and physical energy.
To be resilient takes time and effort but the feeling of success makes all that worth it. Just keep your eyes on the goal and unshakeable faith in yourself and you can beat the odds, no actually you will beat the odds.